I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
