I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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