ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
