Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
