I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
