Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
