PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
