I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
