Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
