I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
the condom got lost in my hair
accomplished twins. life is a go
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
