My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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