he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
