it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think people are normalizing furries
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
