i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
