i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
