His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize