just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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