he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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