haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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