I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
