16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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