I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
