Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
