This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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