so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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