Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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