I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
