Three words: puerto rican gang bang
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
