I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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