My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
