Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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