Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
