I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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