I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
