i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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