We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
