listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
