I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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