her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize