Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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