did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
