For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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