Me too!
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
