dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
