Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Did I show you my penis last night?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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