the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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