Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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