I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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