im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
