problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
